Last week was a pretty heavy blog post and I promise things get better. As discussed last week, I've had a few bumps along the way. But God has been in the midst of it all the whole time.
I ended up getting divorced at the age of 31 and that would help to get me to where I am today. Today I am remarried to my amazing wife Felicia and we have the joy of raising my 8-year-old son JJ. While I may not get to see him as much as I would like, we try to make the most of what little time we do have and go to every Taekwondo test, school play, or school function. He is a very smart kid, and I am so glad to be his dad. Being a dad is one of the greatest joys of my life, and I wouldn't change it for anything. He constantly pushes me to be a better dad. Much like my wife who pushes me to be a better husband every day.
As I was getting separated from my ex, I landed a job as a Project Manager for a local audio & visual engineering company. It was my highest-paying job yet, and I was super excited/ confused as to how I had gotten the job in the first place. I was surrounded by smart people with a college education. Here I was, a 31-year-old Marine Veteran with some lessons in hard knocks. Yes, I had owned a business before, and yes, I had managed many commercial and residential remodel projects, but it wasn't anything compared to what I was used to. So off I went, I would like to think I was successful in my role as a PM (project manager) and even passed my Project Management Professional (PMP) exam. Which for me was a big deal and I finally had a piece of paper to tell the world that I could do a job! While I have no problem with educated people I have always been of the mindset that I want my day-to-day work to speak for itself.
But in the back of my mind, I had an unsettled idea that kept coming back. What if I am not supposed to be here? What if God wants me to be somewhere else, doing something else? So there I started praying and asking God, what am I supposed to be doing here? Are you calling me to something else?
All the while, I was a part of a small group of people who I call my family, my spiritual family. We are a random bunch, and for the last few years, we have been walking through what it means to be followers of Jesus. Things like how are we supposed to interact with those around us? Does the way of following God look different from how we were taught in church and growing up? And it has been some of the best growth in me and those in our group in our relationship with God.
This brings me to how Bad Art became what it is today. I was in a funk and felt like I was trudging through waist-deep mud. I didn't feel like I was progressing and felt like something needed to change. So, I met with a friend for coffee and laid everything out, hoping that I would get an answer to my problems. But like so many times before, I didn't get the answer that I was looking for. Instead, I heard, "Do you trust me"? To which I responded, "...of course I do God!" What a silly question, right? And then it settled on my heart, and I realized I was yet again trying to make things work in my strength. I said that I trusted Him, but in my heart, I did not. You might be asking yourself, how do you show that you trust in God? Well, I will tell you, you give up your wants, needs, and desires and say everything I have and am, I give it to you, God, to do with what you please. So I did, and what better way to put your trust in Him than to leave a high-paying job to start something that is completely uncertain? Which brings me to today as I sit in my living room writing this blog post.
Until this point, I have had consistent work, and God has blown my socks off. He has provided for my wife and me in ways that truly tell me he's got us. He has been working this all out well ahead of us. I might not know where my next project will come from or know if this business is even where the future is leading. But I know that He is in control and I know that as I look at Him, God will lead my steps to where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing.
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